Any advice for a pregnant woman who doesn't want to be a mom?

My friend's husband has always wanted children, my friend thought one day she would change her mind and want a child, but wasn't sure.





Now she is pregnant and it was 100% unplanned. She is very upset, she has realized she never wanted children and thinks she will make a horrible mother. She feels that some women are just not meant to be mothers. Her husband is happy, but also very sad that she doesn't share his joy.





She says she knows her feelings won't change when the baby comes and adoption is an option. She is worried one day she might leave her husband with the kid alone. She doesn't like babies and is afraid she won't care to be a good mom to her kid.





I don't know what advice to give her. She doesn't even think she is the type to be married. I feel horrible for her and her husband. I am pregnant too and so happy about it, and here she is faking how she really feels to her family. Any advice to her? I really don't think her feelings will change because it's her child.Any advice for a pregnant woman who doesn't want to be a mom?
I used to think that I never wanted children and never wanted to get married. I always wanted to be a successful independent woman who didn't want to depend on anyone bu myself. Well now I'm a stay at home mom to a 2 year old little girl and pregnant with a little boy. Now I wouldn't have it any other way. A woman always thinks that she shouldn't be a mother or that maybe she won't be a good enough mother but that's a natural worry. She might get adjusted to the fact that she is going to have a baby and going to completely be in love with the baby once it's born. If she feels she doesn't want to be a mother or be married then she could always give full custody to her husband!Any advice for a pregnant woman who doesn't want to be a mom?
1) This is between your friend and her husband, not between you and your friend AND her husband. She's pregnant, and her husband wants children. Before SHE decides to terminate or keep the baby, she needs to discuss this with her husband..





2) Sure adoption is an option, and usually I press for adoption. If she's worried that her husband is going to leave her or that she won't be a good mom, she needs to work these things out with her husband.





The only advice ANYONE should give her is to take her vitamins, see the doctor, and talk this over with her husband. She's married, and she's pregnant. She needs to grow up and face the reality.
Tell your friend to give birth to the baby then do both baby and father a favor and step out of the picture. Your friends husband will be devastated, but can live through it. This will give him a chance to move on and find a nice mommy who loves him and his child as her own. There are a lot of women who would love to have a caring husband and his child. Too bad your friend didn't think of this BEFORE she married and BEFORE she got pregnant. She's upset 3 lives now because of her selfishness. They would be a lot better off without her.
either two things can happen; she can fall madly in love with the baby and have a relevation in life that motherhood is practice made perfect; no one comes with an A+ in motherhood on day 1; the father can raise the child b/c if married and she gives up the baby that is the signature on the divorce papers; if she feels that she can't love (and maybe counseling is in order to figure out herself for herself) then a loving family that is dying to raise a child would be a better option; get her to counseling not so that she keeps the baby but so she will know why not.
she should have the child, sign it over to her husband, get divorced and go on birth control. no, really it is a little to late for regret now. and if he is excited about the baby then adoption would not be an option as you said. i really do not know what advice to give but she may be surprised about how she feels once she holds that child for the first time. and all women fear that they will not be a good mother. she needs to talk to her husband and maybe seek help from a therapist.
no matter what she thinks she will change her mind once she sees that baby. carrying a child for 9 months is very awesome. she should try. for a month or 2 then if it isn't for her she should then consider adoption. or maybe her boyfriend should take the baby and leave her. that's wut i'd do if i were him anyways.
sounds like she should have had her tubes tied.
It sounds like she's got more mother instinct than she thinks, since she is so concerned about the possibility that she will be a bad mom! Maybe she will change her mind after she feels it moving inside of her or sees him/her for the first time! I would say adoption, but I don't think that's very fair to the dad.
Sounds like a major conundrum and that counselling is very necessary. The two of them should go for family counselling and figure out there options for the future. If she really doesn't want the baby she has to be honest with herself and fam.
A lot of mommy's feel this way, they just don't talk about it. This is called Prepartum depression and is very real. Unfortunately there is not much information on it. It is very similar to postpartum depression but it occurs before birth.





Suggestion: Tell your friend to seek help because it will only worsen. There are medication that can be taken while pregnant to help her be less depressed. You can also have her visit the link the below. It will help her to feel less alone. I have been there so I know how alone you can feel.





http://www.pregnancy.org/article.php?sid鈥?/a>





Good Luck!
Honestly it sounds that she is afraid of failing. Not that she does not want children. I am sure that she will be a wonderful mom....every mother is afraid of failing our children in some way ..... and we all do....we are not perfect....I think that your friend needs to be reassured that she will be a wonderful mother....and find her psychological help as well....they will be able to get her to talk about her fears. I do wish you and your friend luck.
Thats exactly how my mum was when she found out that she was pregnant with me. In the end she decided to have me (obviously!) and she turned out to be a wonderful mother!!! She loves me more than anything and is glad that she decided to have me. Sit down with your friend and explain to her that she is a wonderful person and she will make a wonderful mother!! Try and make her feel as good as possible about the baby. Maybe suggest some marriage counesling for her and her husband as well. I wish the best of luck to your friend!!
has your friend always been that selfish? I have seen women with that attitude towards babies change and end up with 3 and 4. My wife for one. first my wife was afraid of the pain of child birth. next was the responsibility. My wife was admittedly spoiled and selfish, before the 1st baby. Fortunately, she saw the beauty of the baby and realized the opportunity and what was required of us to raise her. your friend sound lucky to have a husband excited. its fun how in reality roles are often reversed. Tell your friend as a married person, her husband would never forgive her if she left or aborted the child, or even proposed adoption. I know a lady that left her family too, and she was the same selfish me-me-me person since we were kids.
Her feelings may change though they should have consider this before they got married. Hindsight is 20/20 though. I feel for him and she has to consider his feelings and their future.